Dear blog,
I am writing to dispel with you some information about the diet that I am currently on. I hate it and all I want right now is a bowl of Spaghetti Bolognese. I’ll start off by listing some pros and cons of this ghastly diet.
Diet pros:
- Already losing weight on day 2.
- Feeling as skinny as a member of The Horrors as a result of said weight loss.
- Feeling as skinny as a member of The Horrors as a result of said weight loss.
Diet cons:
- All I was allowed to eat yesterday was fruit and crappy soup.
- All I was allowed to eat today was vegetables and crappy soup.
- Barely allowed to eat anything at all this entire week.
- My dad cooked a roast lamb last night for himself. The leftovers are in the fridge and are tempting me like the apple pie tempted Jim in American Pie. [1]
In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have based an entire blog on the most boring thing that is happening in my life. Maybe I should talk about other things. Like the fact that I made a Last.fm account the other night.[2] Or that I have a bruise on my back as a result of falling from a treadmill and smashing a fish tank with my back. Or that I finally put my Beatles poster up in my room.
Fuck. I have a really boring life. Oh well, I have to finish this thing up anyway. I’m going out on a drug binge with Kate Moss, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan tonight.
Yours sincerely,
Emily Fitzgerald
